So I saw “17 Again,” but I wasn’t really seeing it…

17_againIn the world of cinema, it doesn’t take much to make me swoon. A slight grin; gently tousled hair; a longing glance or two; some tears; a dynamic love story. And an incredibly good-looking guy doing/being all of the above!

And after seeing Zac Efron in “17 Again” on Saturday, my quota of ridiculously hot ogling has been filled.

It’s a really cute movie . . . really. Twenty years ago, Mike was the hotshot basketball player with his whole life — and career — ahead of him. An unexpected, erm, development derails his plans of going on to greatness and instead lands him squarely in the role of husband, father and office drone. At the end of a terribly long day capped by his discussions of his impending divorce from high school sweetheart Scarlett, some sort of magic — and an observant school janitor — allows him to transform back in his 17-year-0ld self. He basically gets a mulligan.

At first, Mike (played by Efron or, for about ten minutes, Matthew Perry) believes he’s been given a second chance at adolescence in order to go after all those dreams he sacrificed for Scarlett and their son and daughter. He’s basically living in a selfish wasteland. And I won’t ruin the film for you . . . not that there are too many spoilers, persay. But Mike heads back to high school with the help of his longtime best friend Ned, he gets a firsthand look at what life is really like for his kids. And he realizes that his true purpose in being 17 again is, in fact, not selfish at all.

Yeah, I know . . . blah blah. Plot stuff. Things happening. I laugh out loud a bunch of times, and I’m watching the movie but I’m not watching the movie. I’m too busy staring at Zac Efron pushing his hair out of his eyes (how is even that quirk adorable to me? Why doesn’t he just get a haircut?), Zac Efron twirling a basketball, Zac Efron leaning back casually in a chair. I can’t stop staring at his face, the way he crosses his arms. And before you think I’m a cradle-robber, let me remind you that Mr. Efron is, in fact, 21 years old! I had to Wikipedia that before I got too involved! I’m 23, so I figure my window of opportunity hasn’t quite slammed shut just yet . . . never mind that he’s, uh, perhaps a wee bit out of my league!

But that’s just depressing. Let’s move on to the eye candy! I present to you . . .


Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit C

Exhibit B? Yeah. Mama’s got a new desktop background. And it’s high-res!

John Mayer scares puppies

There I was on Saturday afternoon, innocently standing in line at Target with my mom. We’re carrying heavy baskets full of stuff, chattering away light-heartedly, talking about dinner and possibly seeing a movie. Everything is fine. Not a care in the world. I could smell vanilla — and maybe a hint of lavender. I was buying delicious snacks. Birds were chirping; a rainbow may have possibly appeared along the wall, draped over a pack of fluffy golden retriever puppies tumbling along in the aisles.

And then — then I saw THIS . . .


. . . on the cover of a random magazine, dropped unceremoniously near the counter by another customer. Discarded. Just happened to be sitting there, ready to rip my world to shreds.

And the birds flew off, flapping their wings angrily; the rainbow evaporated, leaving a gray streak in its wake. The puppies all started barking, then scampered away, too. And it was just Me and The Magazine.

Did I buy it? No. I mean, why torture myself? Sure, John Mayer is on the cover of it making out with his girlfriend (and alleged fiancee, if you listen to some sources), Jennifer Freaking Aniston, but why should I pry even more into their every day lives? So what if they were returning from a romantical island getaway over Valentine’s Day, where they no doubt recreated the above scene for four days straight? And they were boarding separate planes, and couldn’t bear to be separated from one another for a few hours? And had to keep their arms wrapped around each other, afraid of ever letting go? I mean, WHO CARES. Geez, STOP BRINGING IT UP ALREADY.

And now I’ll get back to work. After I decompress, take a long walk, finish up my Diet Coke and see if anyone has a spot where I can do a bit of yoga. For a half hour or so.