The parking lot was hopping—post-holiday shoppers stashing wrapping paper for next year; parents pulling teens into the salon for after-winter-break haircuts; tired workers dashing into the Arby’s drive-thru, brake lights glowing.
I ignored them all, laser-focused on my mission. I’ll be parked near the Food Lion. Black SUV.
Pulse racing, I eventually spotted a vehicle with potential. The driver was clearly inside, lights on, set a bit apart from the rest of the holiday hubbub. She was waiting for someone … with an item I desperately wanted. Waiting, in fact, for me.
Gliding into the spot next to hers, we locked eyes. She sprang from her vehicle with furtive glances around in the fading winter light.
“Megan?”
I nodded.
She ducked her head toward my open passenger window. “Do you have it?” came the whisper. “Do you have the goods?”
In her own hand: a petite purple box.
With cat ears.
Every generation has its crazes. Tickle Me Elmos and Tamagotchi, Barbies and Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch Kids to Care Bears …
For us, well—it’s Aphmau MeeMeows.
“Aphmau cats”—created and popularized by YouTube star Aphmau—are all the rage with a certain elementary school set, and my 6-year-old daughter is amongst these dedicated collectors. Hadley’s gateway was a cotton candy-decorated cat for last year’s birthday; I think she’s up to 12. The Cat Clowder goes with her (almost) everywhere, and they all have names. Personalities. Needs. Dreams. Demands. Enemies. … Revenge plots? Who knows. Assume nothing.
Like any crafty merchandiser, MeeMeows are initially sold in mystery blind boxes—you don’t know which you’ll get. They’re also available in a series, or “litter,” so designs vary. The surprise is part of the allure. But, of course, this inevitably leads to the elation of revealing a plush you want … or the crushing disappointment of a duplicate. A dupe.
That might be tolerable to some people, but not my neurodiverse children. So I don’t play around anymore: I figured out I needed to game the system longggggg ago.
When a new MeeMeow is requested (as holiday money burns a hole in Hadley’s pocket, for example), I will graciously offer to pick up said toy on a “Target run.”
Secretly? The goods are in the basement.
Because do I hand that blind box over blindly? No. Ohhhh, no.
I buy one or two at a time. Then, with the precision of a hero snipping the red wire, just the red wire!, I break the box seal with scissors. In the dim overhead light of my minivan, I snip a corner of the inner pouch and peer in. What are we working with here—Emerald? Ruby? Sapphire? The coveted Rainbow plush?!?
These kids have me out here with a pounding heart, desperately hoping I don’t see the freakin’ Diamond cat again. Anything but the Diamond cat.
If the toy in question is needed for the collection, I’m relieved. I carefully reseal it to share as needed/earned. And if it’s a dupe, I stow it away for a future trade/sale to another eager soul via Facebook Marketplace. My daughter is none the wiser.
Plush cat dealing.
How did I get here?
Hadley now has 7 of the 8 MeeMeows in Litter 4. After I famously crashed and burned thinking I could “cheat the system” with a Temu knock-off (don’t do it—trust me, they know), I’ve turned exclusively to online resell sites to source real Aphmau products. Most posts are from parents similarly on the hunt.
One listing popped up last week, and it was local! Cats, sale or trade.
Last night I left work to meet the woman in her black SUV. Like me, my source has a young daughter desperate to complete her set. These kids talk of little else. It’s the elusive Princess Diana Beanie Baby, I’m telling you.
I had Rainbow; she had Galaxy. We’d coordinated a trade.
I slid down my passenger window.
“Do you have it?” she whispered, glancing around mock-suspiciously. “Do you have the goods?”
We laughed. Then cringed. Then laughed again.
“The things we do for our children,” she said.
We exchanged boxes, commiserated a little on the whole Cat Situation. Eventually, she mirrored my tired mom-to-mom salute and turned to go.
“God bless you,” she said sincerely. “Thank you. We almost have them all. But …”
She paused, leaning a little closer.
“… You know series 5 is coming out soon, right?”
write meg! 