Hello! Hi!

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Hello! Hi! I’ve missed you. I really didn’t mean to stay away this long. But days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. Pretty soon I’m staring into the abyss of having not written anything for ages, and it gets harder and harder to find the words.

But today is the day! Because it’s Thanksgiving Eve (sure, yes, we’ll make that a thing), I’ve impulsively taken the day off work while my children are at day care, and I’m giving myself permission to sit here and type rather than attack the 1,866 other projects I need to accomplish before 11 people come over for a holiday meal tomorrow.

Oliver is now two and a half, and baby Hadley is eight months old. Being a mother of two young kids is both easier and harder than I expected. Ollie is an awesome big brother, but he’s very attached to me these days — and I often feel like I’m giving my toddler all my attention. Ollie was the center of our universe, while our second child must deal with our divided attention. Mom guilt, friends: so real.

Luckily, Spencer is easily Hadley’s favorite person in the world; she is content to hang with Daddy no matter where we are, and she’s a very easygoing and good-natured little girl. I still get my quiet moments with her — typically first thing in the morning or late at night, when Oliver has finally worn himself down enough to sleep. It’s a process.

I became an aunt! My darling niece, Autumn, was born in May. My sister is an amazing mom — way chiller, patient and doting than I ever was as a new parent. Autumn and Hadley are starting to notice each other at family gatherings, which is hilarious, and Ollie has inexplicably taken to calling Autumn “Maw Maw” (the name we have always called our grandmother), which I kind of love.

Speaking of language, Ollie had an explosion over the summer — finally stringing together words and ideas that had eluded him so far. I would say Spence and I can now understand about 90 percent of what he’s saying and/or asking for, which is a major stride for us. His check-up in October was the first time I have answered “yes” to every developmental question on the doctor’s questionnaire, and I actually teared up. Ah: the preemie parent journey.

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I started a new job in July, ending a decade in journalism. I’m now working in public relations and marketing for a hospital, and I absolutely love it. Leaving the paper was tough — change is scary — but I’ve been embraced by my awesome new team and love the ever-changing, fast-paced work I’m doing at the hospital.

The opportunity presented itself after just a few weeks back following my maternity leave, and I wasn’t sure how to grapple with that situation. But I figured that if the job found me, I should at least apply. And I did. And I got it, so I knew it was meant to be. Nothing has proven me wrong so far.

I’m now freelancing my column, so still writing. Though it takes much of what I’ve got and some of what I don’t to come up with 1,000 words after the kids go to bed, I’m hesitant to give up what has become so much a part of my life: nine years of sharing stories twice a week. Now that I’m no longer at the paper, I know that to give up the column would be to stop writing entirely.  I wouldn’t make the time; I know I wouldn’t. Falling asleep at my keyboard night after night guarantees that.

So I press on. Balancing all I can balance. Work has been very busy and, coming into the busy holiday season, I find myself pulling over for Dunkin’ iced coffee more often than I’d comfortably admit.

Last week was our black-tie gala — an annual fundraiser planned over an entire year. I worked two 12 hours days, logged 25,000 steps between Thursday and Friday and loved (most) every second. It feels so good to be doing something fresh and fun. And I wore a gold sequin dress!

Spence and I feel tired, but we’re managing. Balancing two active kiddos with two full-time jobs, especially now that I have a much longer commute, is challenging. But nothing makes me happier than seeing my baby and Ollie running to the door to greet me each night, planting a kiss and chattering about his day. He is wild and funny and a giggle monster, and I couldn’t possibly love him more.

Even when he’s making me crazy.

And he does. Like when I was desperately — desperately! — trying to get one decent family photo of us for this year’s Christmas card, and he absolutely refused to sit and smile for five seconds. The harder we tried to hold onto him, the more he wiggled and kicked and screamed to get away.

Eventually I gave up. This is what we got.

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And that’s the best one. Can’t beat Hadley’s pout, either. The girl does nothing but grin, but today? At a scenic farm in coordinating outfits — outfits I painstakingly chose over the course of several months? Right. No. Thanks, though.

There are plenty of days I feel like I’m barely holding my stuff together — and plenty of times that is true. I’ve had my breakdowns. Some tears. Mostly when I’m too exhausted to get off the couch, but someone needs something and we just have to find it for them.

But the good has certainly outweighed the bad, and we find our equilibrium day to day. That’s how I’ve learned to live and love: to take each moment as it comes and not worry too much about tomorrow.

It took becoming a mother to finally accept that so much is out of our control, and all we can do is hang on.

So we’re hanging. And the view up here? Pretty amazing.

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12 thoughts on “Hello! Hi!

  1. It’s so nice to see you on here even though your life is crazy busy. I love that you’re willing to share the good and the bad and I absolutely adore that photo of your precious family and hope you use it for your Christmas card.

    • Thank you, Kathy! How nice to hear from you. I did use a similar one for my Christmas card — might as well just go with it. 🙂 Hope you are doing well!

  2. Awww so great to see you here! My blog has been woefully neglected for the past two years. I post sporadically at best. Work and babies, they take SOOO much time. I love hearing how you’re doing with two. We aren’t there yet, so I feel like I’m gathering info and in total research mode.

  3. I’m so glad to see you writing here again! I hoped you weren’t gone from the blog world for good. I would be so sad. Anyway, I am so happy to see you doing so well and thriving, and the little ones too. I have MANY pictures of Caleb looking like that too… Lawd, toddlers are tough! Though I knew most of these updates, I’m glad to hear happy it’s all making you! I adore you and your little family and hope that we can get together again one day in the future! Have a wonderful holiday season and I hope to hear from you on here whenever you find the time… which is so VERY limited, I know! 🙂 HAHA!

  4. I love the Christmas cards with the kids being…well, kids 🙂 And anyone with kids has had that photo experience. Your family is beautiful and it sounds like life is good. Happy Thanksgiving, Meg!

  5. It is so good to hear from you! I remember when you were trying out shoes for your wedding! Your babies are lovely! Have an awesome day tomorrow!

  6. Hi! I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve missed reading your reviews and perspectives on life and motherhood. I know life is busy with two little ones – and precious ones they are! Hope y’all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

  7. So glad you are back. Congrats on your new job and thanks for staying with the paper. It’s my first go to article when I get it. Your children are adorable. Love your writings.

  8. HI MEG,

    How great was it to find your new post today!!!

    Terrifically good!! A-ONE!!!

    SO ENJOYABLE!!!

    I am not on the computer everyday, so this gave me a lift to read this and photos, too!

    Still try to write each day something ; not always possible, though. It is therapy for me.

    And I, too, have my down days and feel discouraged as I can not accomplish all I did before and put things, off.

    My other passion are the word searches and I count how many I do each day for relaxing.

    Buy a book or two always at the dollar store so that I am set for winter!

    God Bless and take care!

    Aways thinking of my girls and the old days!

    They pass so quickly!

    WITH LOVE, GRAM xoxo

  9. It’s so nice to read a few lines from you. I follow you on social media, but there is nothing like your blog and reading your words. I am on the other side of where you are right now, we have twin girls and a son, now 24, and 19 and I can vividly recall how life felt with two 5 year olds and an 8 month old and two full time jobs and just LIFE! I don’t want to go back there, but I wish I had spent more time to enjoy the simple things. I do have tons of photos and many memories. I hope you’ll pop in more often Meg…you are really missed!

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