End goal

/ Meg

photo

Post Weight Watchers treat (frozen yogurt!)


My weight loss goal is in sight.

And that scares me a little.

I’ve started talking with the Weight Watchers crew about my end goal: where I really see myself. How much more do I want to lose? How am I going to know when to stop?

With 23.2 pounds lost and just 1.2 until I hit my personal goal, I have so many conflicting emotions about the next step. At this point, I really believe I’ve changed my eating habits — smaller portions; lots of fresh fruit and vegetables; way fewer sweets — and know I can’t go back to the way things used to be. Weight Watchers has retrained my brain, y’all; I can’t un-know what I’ve learned about eating better.

And, more importantly, feeling better. I didn’t realize how low I’d gotten — physically and emotionally — until I started really examining what I was doing. Since joining the program, my energy levels and confidence have soared. Instead of dreading photos, clothes shopping and running into acquaintances, I feel happy and buoyant and light. By modifying my habits and getting serious about what (and how much) I’m consuming, I’ve changed.

But how do I stop?

After losing 10 percent of my weight, I chose a new personal goal: I wanted to slim down to 150 lbs. At only 5’2″, that number was still 9 pounds more than the “high” end of the healthy BMI weight range for my height — so I’m still considered overweight. (Boo.)

All along, though, I’ve thought the “magic” number for my height — 141 pounds, depending on whom you consult — seemed unrealistic. I haven’t been that slim since high school, and I couldn’t picture myself more than 30 pounds lighter. Afraid of setting myself up for failure, I ignored that number. I couldn’t do 141, I reasoned, but maybe I could do 150. No problem.

Now at 151.2, I’m within sight of that goal. I can feel it. But now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t, for the first time in my post-college life, try to get back within that “healthy” range. It would feel great to be there, emotionally and physically, but I worry 141 is not a number I can sustain — not in the long term. Maybe I could drop another 10 pounds, but should I?

I don’t know.

I already have my lovely wedding dress that is currently two sizes too big. At least half of my work wardrobe is unwearable, and I’m not exactly in a financial position to buy all new clothes. Cry me a river, I know, but it is frustrating in its own way. I’m back to not having anything to wear not because my clothes are too tight, but because they’re too loose.

A better problem to have, yes — especially for health reasons. But frustrating.

Losing another 10 pounds would mean I’ve officially dropped three dress sizes, and absolutely nothing I own — or like — will fit. I feel like I woke up one day to discover all my favorite clothes had become unwearable . . . including my favorite jeans. Because I’m in such a flux right now, I have no idea what size pants to even buy. I’m left wearing and washing the same few pairs I bought on clearance at Kohl’s for the summer, though I know I’ll have to break down and invest in new duds soon.

It’s weird.

Weight is . . . well, a sensitive subject. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. And I’m not sure there’s an easy solution to this — just my general mental wandering over whether or not it’s time to quit. I’ll admit that it’s addictive, seeing that scale move . . . and I just hope I won’t lose momentum once I’m not actively dropping the pounds anymore.

I’ll just have to recommit, this time with renewed purpose: staying healthy. Maintaining.

Both leading up to the wedding and far, far beyond.


22 thoughts on “End goal”

  2. Congratulations on being almost to your goal! That is so exciting. I lost almost 40 pounds last year (thanks to the endocrinologist and numerous other docs who figured out why I had gained it in the first place!) and I am still trying to lose another 20 to get into that “healthy BMI range” that seems to elude me, haha.

    I totally feel your pain on the clothing front, though! My wedding dress had to be taken in almost 3 sizes, and the seamstress couldn’t believe that I had actually purchased the dress in that size on purpose, haha. I also finally just bought new pants, since I realized that having a super saggy butt wasn’t helping anyone. It’s definitely annoying to have clothes that don’t fit, because even though you feel better, you aren’t dressing for your new body and that can be depressing. I definitely hit as many sales as I could; I also didn’t know what size I was or how much weight I’d be losing (as I continue to lose weight, haha) which is equally frustrating. Good luck!

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  3. Hi Meg! First off, congratulations on (nearly) reaching your weight loss goal! My mom has been doing Weight Watchers since early last year and has lost 85lbs thus far (so proud of her!), so I know what an accomplishment that is. I think you hit the nail on the head at the end there—the lasting goal and accomplishment is *maintaining* a healthy lifestyle. Maybe that means you’ll hit that recommended weight and maybe it means you don’t. But so long as you feel healthy and can maintain it, I don’t think it matters what the number on the scale reads.

    As far as clothing, this is hard and something my mom too has struggled with as well. I suggest Goodwill & other thrift stores to find a few items that will get you by for your day-to-day wear. Do you have a friend that sews? You can ask them to take in a few blouses and tops for you (maybe even a few skirts or simple dresses? In my opinion, pants are too complicated to take in super quick). Nothing fancy—just pin it and sew a couple of seams. You could even do it yourself if you have access to a machine! This way you can slowly replace and rebuild your wardrobe. Just a few ideas—and again, way to go, Meg!

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  4. I am so happy for you. I’ve been very overweight most of my adult life, the scale going up and up and up. I know I need to change, but it’s not my time I guess, it will come.
    Go for healthy, and you will succeed. I’m over 1000 miles away and yet, I can’t wait for your wedding…ha ha!
    Smiles for you 🙂

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  5. Buy some lovely, colourful belts you can put through trouser loops or over tops! How much weight loss is too much? That’s a difficult question, but while you have the momentum and clothes that already don’t fit, maybe just keep going until you reach that BMI figure? Just remember: be careful not to back slide when you stop dieting. 🙂

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  7. Congrats on being so close!

    I’m 5’4 and trying to get down to 140. At my last weigh in I was at 151.2 and really trying to get into the 140’s. For me I’m motivated to get into the healthy weight range because that was my motivation to getting started on this journey. Staying in that range will be challenging for sure but being healthy is my end goal.

    I do agree though half of your clothes not fitting is the worst. I only have one pair of jeans that actually fit me right now.

    ps. I found your blog through WordPress. Come check out my site for some healthy recipes to add to your arsenal.

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  8. How wonderful! Keep up the good work. It certainly is hard to lose and I think it gets harder the older you get. Do it now while you are young and get in shape. You will never regret it and will look fabulous for your wedding! I’m routing for you to make your goal!!! Best Wishes! God bless!

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  9. Congrats on all the healthy changes! I feel your pain (pain?) regarding your new dilemma. I’ve lost about ten pounds in the last several months and while I’m proud of myself for sticking with my diet and i love how I’m looking, I feel like I’m in uncharted territory. Post-wedding I’m not sure what my diet should/will be. Do you do what you’re doing now but just relax some of the rules, or will that throw weight back on? Or do you do exactly as you’re doing now, and just see what happens. As far as clothes go- I’ve given up on pants. It’s all about the dresses. If they start getting too loose, I throw on a belt.

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  10. Good job! As an WW member I know how important getting to a personal goal is. At one point in time my goal was to weigh less than the “lie” I had put on my driver’s license. LOL Years ago as I was approaching the point where I was sure I couldn’t lose any more (after dropping 45 lbs.), I asked my doctor at what weight could I come in to his office and he wouldn’t suggest I lose 5 or 10 pounds. He and I then agreed on a goal and that became my official WW goal. That was before BMI, but was about 15 lbs. higher than the high end of the WW weight range. Between the doctor, WW and me, we agreed on a permanent goal that I felt I could maintain. Then you can maintain for 6 weeks and become lifetime. No more payments, but you can keep going to meetings and decide if you want to go lower. Be sure to choose a maintainable weight for the time between now and the wedding. After that you can choose to make a different goal.

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  11. Congratulations! That is such an amazing accomplishment, and I can imagine how “light” you feel — not just weight-wise; a burden is lifted when you accomplish big goals.

    My personal opinion on nutrition, exercise and weight is to focus on healthy. Maintain health.If I were in your position and had a good, collaborative relationship with my doctor, I would schedule a visit to discuss exactly what you’re debating in this post. That way I know I’d be focusing on health and not on the high of seeing those numbers drop off the scale or feeling my jeans get even more loose.

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  12. Congrats Meg 🙂 Weight loss is not an easy journey. I’ve been so up and down in the last few years..ugh. I have all sorts of sized in my closet, lol. I’m with everyone else here who says that staying healthy is the numero uno reason to keep up the good work! WW is awesome isn’t it? It really does help you retrain your brain 🙂

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  13. Well if you do continue downward you’ll definitely know if you want to stay there. A good friend of mine in school list down to her “recommended” weight and truthfully, she looked too thin. A little sick. No one wants that, even though it’s what’s “recommended.”

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  15. Is that yogurt from Menchie’s? I have one of those where I live and it is absolutely delicious! Congrats on your weight loss! You’re very inspiring.

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  16. While you have the momentum and you are feeling good, you might as well ride the wave. Someone said it before, but if you get to that 141, you will know if it is right for you or not. And you will have WW there to support you in maintaining. I know what you are saying about the clothes. If you think you will lose more, just look for close out sales and those 75% off racks until you get where you are comfortable. THEN you go out and buy yourself the hottest tightest pair of jeans as a treat!

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  18. Congratulations. I know what you must be feeling. About three years ago I reached 173 pound and only 5 foot 2 inches like you. Ups and downs changing my exercise routine and diet I have reached 136 pounds today. I do have ups and downs, but I remain focus with my routine. I really do not go by those BMI numbers because even today the Wii says I should weigh 119. Oh yeah when I was fifteen I think to myself. My best wishes to you, keep blogging as I am now your follower!

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  19. Awesome post, Meg! You’re doing amazingly with your goals.

    I do have to admit…I think maintaining has been the most challenging part of this whole weight loss journey. It’s so exciting to keep seeing the scale go down, down, down that it gets a little disheartening when it stays the same, even though that’s a good thing and means you’ve reached your goal!

    I’d keep trying to lose if that’s what you’d like to do…you’ll know when it’s time to stop, believe me.

    And you’re SO right that buying new clothes is a pain. Whenever I mentioned that to someone they’d be like “boo-hoo” but it really was a challenge…it was expensive and I didn’t yet feel comfortable in my new skin or know if that was going to be my new weight for the long term.

    Keep rocking it!

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  20. Congratulations!! And you are right … maintenance is the toughest part! and the reason I don’t refer patients to some weight loss centers but always to Weight Watchers. My advice … keep going, well after goal weight. Not as frequently of course but enough to help you realize if you have slipped a bit.
    You must feel awesome!!

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