I took this photo Monday afternoon.
Why? you might think. Why waste your time taking pictures of food, especially when it’s half-bitten?
I’m not sure, honestly. I take too many food photos. It’s my thing; a compulsion, really. I feel like I can’t enjoy a meal until I’ve documented it, and my need to capture food comes as naturally as breathing.
Three weeks into my weight loss program, it’s had its tough moments — but I’m doing better than I ever thought I would. My cousin’s baby shower on Saturday was the true test of my self-control — and I’m happy to say that I (mostly) passed. The spread was absolutely fantastic, and one of my all-time favorite dishes — strawberry pretzel salad — was out in all its gleaming, sugary, delicious glory. I calculated points and had a serving about half the size of my palm, y’all, and my hands are small. (Um, pretty much the only small thing about me.)
But the point? I had a taste, and then I quit.
I had one of my grandmother’s famous homemade peanut butter cups.
I had one cream cheese mint.
I had two white chocolate-covered pretzels.
Absolutely none of the awesome book-shaped cake.
A taste. And then I quit.
It wasn’t easy. In my more ungenerous moments, I look at others eating whatever they like and I feel hungry and tired and I think: I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sure I will feel that way next week, and next month, and next year. But I also know I’ve committed myself to something bigger than myself, and though I’ve only lost 1.8 pounds so far? Well, it’s 1.8 pounds no longer dragging me down.
So yes: the apple. I’m not the sort of person who bites into apples. I’m the calculated type, the careful type; the person who slices her fruit into equal pieces, devouring them one at a time. I’m someone who worries about food on her face, about getting her desk messy, about apple getting wedged in my teeth.
But I bit it anyway.
Because the little plastic knife I was battling with wasn’t cutting it — literally.
And because, for the first time in a long time, I’m feeling in control of what I choose to eat. Or not eat. And I’m just going for it.
It’s a winding road ahead, but if it’s paved with juicy apples? I know I’ll figure it out.
7 thoughts on “Taking a bite”
Yay! Go you!!
That’s great! I think one of the most important things is to feel in control of what you’re eating.
Brava — changing how one views/interacts with food esp in celebratory and social situations is HUGE — I know because I’m wrestling with that myself. Yay on your victory — enjoy that apple! 🙂
It is a long road, but after awhile (hopefully) it will just become habit and you won’t think about it too much. I’m working up steam to give up alcohol for Lent, which is what I did last year and boy did it ever put the final touch on my diet plan! Wow. So just to prove that I can do it again, I will. You can do this. Use visualization…a kick butt bod in that wedding dress!
Good luck on your journey!
Take as many pictures as you want! Love them and keep up the good work!
Good job with your portion control at the baby shower!! Truly, portion control (or lack thereof) is a big reason we are all heavier than we should be.
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