Like many a teenage girl going through the awkward throes of adolescence, there was something unbelievably reassuring about paging through a copy of Teen Beat, Seventeen or Cosmo Girl and finding… my horoscope.
Reading the adventures other cancers and I were bound to have over the next month reminded me that I wasn’t alone in this big ol’ universe — that there is, somehow, a “plan.” Maybe. I know that many people would turn to religion for that purpose, but that’s not completely my style. Horoscopes were accessible and, in an unsteady world, gave me something to use as a guide for navigating the treacherous waters of being a teenage girl.
And they helped me try and figure out whether my crush and I were going to “gel” that month.
Every morning before school, my dad and I would sit at the kitchen table and have breakfast. The daily newspaper would be spread out to the comics and, yes, the horoscopes, and my dad would begin the same way before I ran out the door: “Today, Cancer . . . ”
Inevitably, my daily horoscope would include something like, “Your energy levels are low today, so beware of crabby moods!” (get it? Crabby?) or “Communication is difficult today, Cancer, so be clear with what you want.”
Whether it’s just through the power of suggestion or what, I definitely think I’m a cancer to a T. Especially when we get into the moodiness and attempts to self-preserve.
Cancer natives are self-protective and sensitive, and often retreat into themselves when hurt. Crabs are able to resist changes in the environment, thereby protecting themselves from hostile elements in various habitats. Similarly, Cancer natives are thought to avoid too much change, and to be on the defensive. Crabs have “complex behavior patterns.” The inner world of Cancer natives is thought to be rather quirky and complex. Some crabs “conceal themselves by decorating their bodies with plants and animals.” Cancer natives tend to try to blend in with their environments, preferring not to make a big splash in life.
Just to preserve my pride, I’m going to pretend that “quirky” and “complex” are good things. (Maybe they are.)
And, when I have some time, I still check out what the stars apparently have in store for me. And sometimes? Like today? I nod a little appreciatively at the fact that the universe just knows exactly what I’m going through.
Me? Overextended? HAHAHAHahaha . . . ha. Ahem.
Going to try and wrestle those deadlines to the ground now . . . while waiting for my “unexpected opportunities” to appear. Let’s hope they’re in the form of cold, hard cash.