Edward Cullen reaches out to you

How many times did I watch “Twilight” on DVD this weekend? One. I know — I’m proud of me, too! And so is my Edward Cullen action figure!

It was about to be a big ol’ zero on the viewing schedule until I convinced my sister to sit down with me around 10:30 p.m. Saturday night. We’d spent a long few hours working on her internship applications and, considering I’d actually been in possession of the movie for more than 12 hours at that point, I was getting antsy. After all the e-mails were sent out and Kate’s future was yet to be decided (don’t worry, baby sis, they’re going to love you!), we got our golden retriever to settle down long enough to enjoy a little “Twilight” goodness.

Now, I’ll be honest here. I’m a huge fan of the franchise, have read all the books obsessively and gotten my fan-girl bit on, hosted the Breaking Dawn event out at our bookstore (with more than 500 screaming girls — oh, yeah!) and have all sorts of merchandise. You know, definitely obsessive-like. As soon as the DVD date was announced, I hastily scribbled it all down in my little pocket calendar and waited and waited.

And then I finally saw it again — this weekend, after my one brief, but wonderful viewing in November.

And I laughed. A lot.

Don’t get me wrong — I really enjoyed it. I was entertained. But  the facial expressions — especially Edward/Rob Pattinson’s “OMG what is that smell?!” face when Bella first walks into his science class! I was cracking up. I mean, he was physically repulsed — and if a guy pulled a face like that after I’d tactfully taken a seat next to him on my first day at a new school, I’d look over and punch him in the arm. Or the nose.

So I still loved the movie, but it was just campy. That’s the best word I can use to describe the whole thing. I was so caught up in not physically gasping in the theater the first time I saw it, I overlooked many facets of the movie that would . . . well . . . make me cringe under any other circumstances. Just melodrama and angst. And make-up — so much make-up!

So I ask myself again, What is the appeal of the books/characters/films for me? The love story? The teenage angst? I’m almost 24, so I don’t think it’s fair that I should still identify heavily with teenage love stories. But I do. Oh, I do! It’s fun and ridiculous and just awesome. I have an English Lit degree and can sit there and chat Shakespeare and Austen with the best of ’em, but that didn’t quell any desire to rub my hands together in unabashed excitement when the opening credits of the film began to roll. I freaking love “Twilight”! (And I am, in fact, listening to the soundtrack on my iPod as I type this.)

And since I’m discussing this now, I might as well go ahead and share some links to the epic time-sucks that keep me from, you know, editing a novel or querying my books or eating dinner or something. I’ve been laughing out loud — and probably embarrassing myself — while reading the endlessly hilarious quips and adventures of the ladies at Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob. But I’m going to go back to very seriously not doing constant Google Image Searches on Rob Pattinson. No. I won’t.