I need a job, and I want to be a paperback writer

paperback_writerI discovered the Beatles’ “Paperback Writer” a year or so ago (hey, only about 50 years after the fact!) and I’ve pretty much decided that it’s my anthem. How often do you come across a peppy, energetic song about some desperate schlub pandering a lit agent to read his or her 1,000-page tome? Not often. Plus, the main character of the novel has a son who also wants to be a paperback writer. Art imitating life? Life imitating art? Either way, God bless you, Paul McCartney!

Paperback Writer

Dear, sir or madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It’s based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

It’s a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn’t understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It’s a steady job, but he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

It’s a thousand pages, give or take a few
I’ll be writing more in a week or two
I can make it longer if you like the style
I can change it ’round, but I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

If you really like it you can have the rights
It can make a million for you overnight
If you must return it you can send it here
But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer . . .

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