More food blogging: I went to IHOP with my family a few weeks ago and, wanting to try and pretend like I don’t mind eating “healthy,” I ordered a chicken salad. What I actually got was the monstrosity above — the largest, gooiest salad you’ve ever seen. With about a bucket of ranch dressing (on the side, yes, but still a bucket.) I was stunned — nay, horrified — when our server plopped it down in front of me. My grandmother told me she’d never seen anything like it in her life. My cousin encouraged me to take a photo. And yes, I did. I don’t leave home without my digital camera.

I guess I could take a pompous opportunity to lament the food portions available in the U.S., taking a moment to discuss my experiences “abroad” and how different the foods and sizes of meals are in England and Italy. You’d probably roll your eyes as I discussed the small meat platters set before us in Rome, filled only with thinly sliced prosciutto and olives. And the side orders of pasta that I would consume as a mid-afternoon snack here at home, instead of as my full-blown dinner in Florence.

Instead, I will tell you this: It was a gigantic salad, and it was gigantically delicious. I didn’t finish it all, but that’s what great about ordering out in America — we have to-go boxes. Larger portions = larger happiness. Right? Right?

And yes, I did smear all of that dressing on myself. My dad will be ashamed of me!