The day we met

Spencer and me


Three years ago today, I met my future husband.

After joining an online dating site, I’d been out on a few dates — but hadn’t felt that connection with anyone. Everyone was nice, respectable . . . and just not the one. Spencer was my third date that week, and the one I was most looking forward to — mostly because I could tell, from our cheeky (though limited) online profiles, that he was someone with whom I could have a real conversation. Someone with shared interests. Someone who seemed kind, and funny, and interesting.

And he was really cute.

The date went well, needless to say. I remember babbling about it on Twitter immediately beforehand, then feeling shy to share how great he was after. We went on a dozen dates over the next few weeks, then made it “Facebook official” shortly thereafter. He joined my photography club, started hanging with my friends and family, and was simply knitted into the fabric of my life. I met his parents that summer; we took our first trip to New York in August. And that’s that.

It’s funny to be celebrating our “dating-aversary” this year — now that we’re engaged, I mean. It feels different. We have other anniversaries now, too: like the day we got engaged. And, come November, our wedding day. Here’s an interesting question: post-wedding or post-commitment, do you and your significant other still celebrate the day you met? Or when you made your relationship “official”? Do you remember the date?

All for research purposes.

For our second anniversary last March, we took a trip to historic Fredericksburg, Va., to see the sights, sip milkshakes and wander around in the damp spring air. This year will be decidedly more low-key and, with our new healthy eating, won’t include any awesome desserts like our last celebration. (Le sigh.)

But we do have our official engagement photo session scheduled for Saturday! So pumped. I found a new dress for the occasion, and I’ll let you in on a secret: I snagged it for a meager $6. It was marked $20, and even that seemed like a steal. But $6?! I could have screamed. I almost did. Or I may have . . . I don’t know. Kind of blacked out there for a second.

Bargains have that affect on me.


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55 Comments

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55 responses to “The day we met

  1. My husband and I still celebrate the day we became an “official” couple. We were together for 6 1/2 years before we got married, and that time was important, so we recognize it. Next year we will have been together for a total of ten years, and I think that’s something worth celebrating! Enjoy this fun crazy days of wedding planning!

  2. I still like to celebrate the day Mr. RH and I met… it’s coming up in June. And our engagement-versary. So many dates to remember!

    I’m jealous you’re getting your engagement photos taken. Not only can I NOT decide what to wear, but I haven’t even booked a date. Life seems crazy lately!

    • Meg

      It does indeed seem nuts, Sarah, but the engagement shoot is a must! I was freaking out about what to wear until I found the great, cheap dress. Now I’m just pumped!

  3. I love that picture! And wow, 3 years! I still remember it! LOL Didn’t he wear a bright red tshirt? And you’ve been so happy ever since! I’m so glad for you!!! (and for the great bargain! LOL)

    • Meg

      You are so right, Jill — he wore a red T-shirt and green shorts, haha! Not the details one soon forgets. :) Thanks so much for sharing this crazy ride with me!

  4. That’s a question I’ve thought about a few times, partly because we kind of have two days – the official and the actual day (basically one realising we were together, the other making it official). I guess it would feel less important if you marry, because a wedding is such a big event, but it’s still important to keep that first day in mind because it was the beginning. Reading your story here was lovely :)

    • Meg

      Thank you, Charlie! I can imagine many people have two dates: the day they actually met, and the day they realized (or chose) to become a couple. Equally important!

  5. What a sweet story. When you first mentioned Spencer on your blog I could tell you thought he was special. Carl and I will celebrate our 34th anniversary in May and we still celebrate the anniversary of our first date – December 3rd.

  6. my husband and i got married in november of 2011 and we dont really celebrate the day we got engaged or the day we started dating — yes we remember both days and they are special and we say something in passing but not any kind of anniversary type thing. now… that first wedding anniversary, when we still hadnt taken a honeymoon, we rocked it, went all out and went to costa rica for two weeks! gluck whatever you decide to celebrate!

    • Meg

      I would be all about hitting Costa Rica — sounds awesome! I would imagine that, moving forward, we will acknowledge the important days . . . but reserve our real partying for our wedding anniversary. Though I’m a serious card-giver, so greeting cards may still be involved. :)

  7. amb

    Loved this story!

  8. What a lovely read this was, and I couldn’t be happier for you. May you have many years together

  9. Memories fade but the day I met my husband is pristinely preserved in my memory. Although it happened over twenty years ago I can easily retrieve it as I am doing now and recall the sights, the sounds, the smells, and the way I felt when our eyes first met. Getting goose bumps just thinking about it (yeah, it’s love). It’s crazy but I knew then that my life would be better because he had entered it. The story of how we met is the first story I wrote and how I discovered my love for writing. We don’t officially celebrate it but I think of it often, especially on that day. It ranks right up there with our wedding and the day our kids were born. Happy Anniversary Meg!

    • Meg

      That’s fantastic, Melissa — and definitely sounds like you have the soul of a writer! I remember so many details about the day Spencer and I met, too, as well as just a “feeling” that washed over me. When you know, you know, eh? :) Thank you!

  10. So there might still be hope for me on the dating site! Lol

    • Meg

      Absolutely, yes! Online dating was tons of fun, and I highly recommend it. Gets you “out there,” chatting with new people, and hopefully meeting someone great. And it can work! :)

  11. This is such a beautiful thing. My husband and I are hopeless. We do not know the date we met, the first date, the date we starting dating or even the date we got engaged. We do know our wedding date. Thanks goodness.

    • Meg

      Was your engagement spontaneous? I guess I’m so into numbers that I record them immediately (and keep a meticulous calendar). I’m also totally crazy about preferring even dates versus odd ones, so I’m thrilled our engagement anniversary is 12-16-12. (I’m zany, I know.)

  12. Brandi

    Your story reminds me of how I met my husband. We met online and emailed and talked on the phone before we met. We met on May 16, 2004 and we still acknowledge the day even if we don’t do anything. We have gone back to the places we went that day around that anniversary date.

    • Meg

      That’s really great, Brandi. We recreated our first date about six months into our relationship (coffee at Panera!), and I think it’s sweet to remember and pay homage to those times. And yay for online dating!

  13. I’ve loved watching your relationship grow. So excited for you. Marriage is the best.

  14. Three years, wow, time flies! Love the bargain on the dress. I’m the same way… it just feels so good to snag a deal.

    • Meg

      It does indeed, Leslie! And yes, bargains are the best. I’ve scoured that sales rack a few times since snagging my dress, but haven’t found anything nearly as exciting . . .

  15. Brava on the dress find — that’s a wonderful score!! My wife and I are into celebrating just about anything, but oddly, we don’t celebrating our date-aversary…I need to start that!

    • Meg

      I highly recommend the date-aversary celebration, Audra! And not merely because it allowed me to eat contraband fried dessert without (too) much guilt last evening . . . (“What? We’re celebrating! It’s our anniversary!”)

  16. So sweet! Lovely. Congrats :)

  17. Lovely story! My husband and I have been together for 33 years in May, married for 31 years in August. And while specific memories tend to fade, there are days, events, traditions, private jokes, and such we will always acknowledge. One tip for a long-lasting relationship: Love those moments gone by with all your heart, because they helped get you to where you are–but just as important is looking FORWARD to all that is yet to come, even if you don’t know what that will be. Being able to envision yourselves still together in the future, and having plans to look forward to—now that’s some sweet stuff!

    • Meg

      What wonderful, sweet advice — thank you! You’re absolutely right. Envisioning our day-to-day life, trips, travels, future family . . . so exciting. :)

  18. First date: June 15, 1975. The proposal: on that same first date. She said yes, almost 38 years ago. Worthy of celebration … but we don’t. Wedding anniversary, you bet!

  19. sandynawrot

    Seems like maybe I’m in the minority…my husband and I don’t celebrate our first date but we do talk about it, and know the date. Actually, it is very close to our wedding anniversary, so it all kind of blends. Like Kathy, when you started talking about him on here, you had a glow, that is for sure!

    • Meg

      Love that it’s close to your wedding anniversary, Sandy! I think it’s awesome when folks can merge their wedding day with the day they met, or something close to. I’ll occasionally hear stories about couples who marry six years to the day after they met, or something similar . . . for a lover of dates, I think that’s great!

  20. We quasi-celebrate our dating anniversary and our engagement anniversary. No presents but we acknowledge the day and talk about how it really can’t be that long ago.

    • Meg

      I think that’s what we’ll start doing, Linda! I plan to still mark them on the calendar, even if we do nothing more than joke about how long it’s been. :)

  21. What a lovely story. My hubby and I definitely celebrate our first meeting – it was a group blind date and oh so easy to remember 12/7/84 (12 x 7 = 84, isn’t that cool?) – and we also celebrate our wedding anniversary (23 years this June).

    • Meg

      That is very cool, and congratulations on 23 years! A group blind date sounds like so much fun, and it clearly worked out! :)

  22. I wish I could remember the date of the day we met. I remember meeting him for sure – he introduced himself and I was blown away by meeting a man with manners. It’s the little things, right? We can’t even remember the date of our first date. I know our engagement anniversary, but we typically just celebrate our wedding anniversary. Congrats on your anniversary and your new dress!

  23. We still note the day we met–it was 7 years before we got married; I always say we’ve been together for 15 years instead of just married for 8, otherwise it seems off and doesn’t truly reflect our entire relationship.
    Congratulations!

  24. Oh my goodness! Has it been three years?!? I remember when you first started dating and I am so happy for you and your beautiful future with this man!

    To answer your question … I still remember my dating anniversary with my husband-to-be. We don’t celebrate it anymore. We now just celebrate our wedding anniversary, which will be 13 years this August!!

  25. Good question! Since the years that led up to our engagement were exactly why we became the couple we are today, of course we still celebrate the day we met. It is an important milestone in both of our lives because nothing has been the same since :)

  26. alexa

    aww thats so cute, happy anniversary. :)

  27. My hubby to be and I still celebrate the day we met, it’s our anniversary. This year we also get to celebrate our first year engaged, so I think we will be celebrating both. And soon enough, we will have three days to celebrate each year. I htink these are important to continue celebrating becuase it is the day we we acknowledge something special; happened. I never want to forget the day I met my future husband, and same with the day he asked for my hand in marriage. Really and truly, the marriage wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for those two days, especially the day we met.

    Happy anniversary to you !

  28. We usually do a little something for our date-iversary but nothing for the day that we got engaged. We definitely celebrate a little bigger for our wedding anniversary!

  29. How sweet! My husband and I don’t celebrate any “firsts.” We met in elementary school and I don’t even know if we ever had an official first date.

  30. I’m sorry. The article is so sweet, I just had to butt in. My parents have been married for 22 years and we, as a family, celebrate 2 anniversaries. One on December, their wedding and one this March, the day my mom said yes after my dad’s year long courtship.

    I think it’s sweet and thoughtful that you still celebrate the day you first met. It’s like celebrating the beginning of the rest of your life.

  31. Meg my husband and I still celebrate both our dating and our wedding anniversary. Our first date was watching the fireworks on the 4th of July. He took me back to that spot when we got engaged… although I have no idea what that date is. Don’t tell him. I give him a hard time for not remembering dates. But we still always try to make it to the fireworks. And as a surprise at our wedding, my dad got us fireworks… so it’s kind of our thing :)